4 keycards returned, 4 awkward goodbyes skipped entirely.

The snack table misses 2 people more than the org chart will admit.

1 exit interviews. Zero honest answers.

2 more names on the alumni list nobody asked to join.

Somewhere a manager drafted a 'tough decision' email 2 times this month.

1 severance packages assembled. Feelings: not included.

2 desks went quiet. The building's a little emptier, the parking lot a little fuller.

Ledger says 2. Merc says 'meh, seen worse.'

2 people found out what 'restructuring' means the hard way.

This month's casualty count: 2. Nobody cried. Well, nobody HR could hear.

1 chairs empty, spreadsheet very full.

Monthly total: 5. Round of applause for nobody.

8 'thanks for your service' emails went out. LinkedIn's about to get busy.

The org chart lost 3 branches this month. Somewhere a Slack channel just got quieter.

1 badges deactivated, zero regrets from management.

HR's monthly special: 1 exits, hold the sincerity.

Body count for the month: 1. No balloons this time, just boxes.

This month's final count: 1. Same building, fewer people, same Mondays.